Prison Love author aims to change the narrative about prison relationships

Tshidi Monkoe (39) is an award-winning self-published author, lyricist, motivational speaker, qualified relationship & wellness coach, NLP coach and NLP practitioner, notably known for a beautifully crafted book – Prison Love.

She hails from Katlehong in Gauteng province and grew up in Vosloorus.

Her love for writing stems from high school days, but said she never envisaged it as a profession.

Expressing herself through words was always engraved in her heart.

According to Tshidi, her pivotal role in life is to heal and teach people through her life experiences.

She says her book ‘Prison Love’ is a platform through which fulfils her purpose. It was published in January 2021.

Prison love is about two love birds, one incarcerated and serving an eight-year sentence for armed robbery.

At first Tshidi didn’t know that her mystery man was behind bars, when it dawned on her, she was already smitten with him, she reiterated that she couldn’t imagine life without him.

The free-spirited author further explained that the mystery man ticked all the right boxes. He was loving, caring, always ready to take charge and was able to make things happen for her on the outside, while he was behind bars.

Her unconventional dating made her receive backlash from society. Tshidi shared with Kasi Voice News that, the backlash was unbearable, as she was labelled as desperate by dating a prisoner, but their critics fell on deaf ears as she was hopelessly in love.

Having been from an abusive marriage, her mystery man was her safe haven as he treated her in a peculiar way, in a way that every woman would like to be treated.

Tshidi decided to wait for him during his remaining four years of imprisonment. It wasn’t long before they became the ‘IT’ couple of prison since she would visit him regularly.

The mystery man didn’t allow prison to hinder their happiness, he proposed to her.

Tshidi unpacked to Kasi Voice News that, shortly after he was released, a different side of her prisoner lover emerged.

“He dished out the same amount of pain on me upon his release. We were looking forward to living a fulfilling life together, we had so much to look forward to, to achieve but it all fell apart,” she said.

When Kasi Voice News asked her about what triggered her inspiration to pen down this touching book, she reiterated that her prison love story inspired it and that she aims to change the narrative about prison relationships.

“Prison Love is a taboo in South Africa. There is very little support for women who are in prison relationships. They are judged and criticized by society.

When a woman gets into a relationship with a prisoner, she is regarded as being naïve, desperate, or
approving of criminal behaviour when her only crime is being in love with a man caught up in the criminal justice system. I wrote the book to give those women a voice,” said the enthusiastic author.

She further explained that “When my prison lover was released, I became a prisoner of love by staying with a man who made it clear through his actions that he no longer needed me.

“I stayed in a relationship when love and respect were no longer on the menu. So, I also wrote the book for women who are trapped in toxic relationships.

“The book will help them navigate their way out of toxic relationships,” she said.

She added that being an award-winning author bolstered her confidence.

“The feedback is great; I have sold over 1 200 copies of the book. It was selected and recommended by the Gauteng department of education to be used in senior schools.

“The National Reading Coalition in partnership with the education department selected the book to be reviewed on their Virtual Reading Club.

“They bought 50 copies of the book. Basic education minister Angie Motshekga is also reading the book. Prison Love was also rolled out to various libraries across the country following an endorsement by the department of arts and culture,” said Monkoe.

She further added that City of Tshwane municipality also purchased copies for their libraries.

Those who have read the book, refer to it as ‘The Relationship Bible‘.

When asked about the reason behind the offloading sessions, Monkoe said she was in a dark place, she had no one to talk to and needed to offload and that is when the offloading sessions emerged.

“When I found myself in adversity, I had no one to talk to. I thought people would pass judgement. I walked around with what felt like a heavy bag of cement on my chest. I cried myself to sleep. I lived a lie. I looked like the happiest person alive, while I was a dead woman walking. I was dying to offload. I needed to be saved from myself. Sadly, no one came for me.

“I found myself in a psychiatric ward when I was 9 months pregnant. It is by the grace of God I didn’t lose my baby. Post my discharge from hospital, I started talking. I reached out to friends and family. I also spoke to strangers. This was the beginning of my healing process.

This is what inspired these sessions. I am offering myself to you Queens. Come and offload. Let us help you carry the load. Let’s help you free yourself from the prison of pain, depression, suicidal thoughts, lack of forgiveness, bitterness, vendetta, brokenness,” said Tshidi.

Writing Prison Love has helped Tshidi to heal, she’s now in a better space, on the journey of self-recovery. Despite her bad experience she still believes in love.

“Yes, I still believe in love. I have learned that the most important thing is for me to define myself. To know who I am and what I want. Now that I have done so, I am able to love myself. I have learned that whatever it is I am longing for already exists within in me and I have found it.

I have taken time to work on myself and I believe I will attract the love I deserve,” she said with a smile beaming on her face.

Prison Love is available at Lifestyle Books and Exclusive Books stores including OR Tambo International Airport, King Shaka International Airport, Cape Tow International Airport, Exclusive Books Gaborone, Lifestyle Books Maseru (Pioneer
Mall), Lifestyle Books Harare and directly from her.

The author can be followed on below social media handles:

Facebook / LinkedIn: Tshidi Monkoe
Instagram: tshidi_monkoe
Twitter: @CharismaticTM
Whatsapp: 0661726715

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